


8 Letters

by angularspeed



Series: Seongjoong Week 2020 [3]
Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Idiots in Love, Letters, Long-Distance Relationship, Love Confessions, M/M, hongjoong's also an idiot, seonghwa's an idiot, what does that mean?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:26:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24364282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angularspeed/pseuds/angularspeed
Summary: 8 letters.Eight letters in total: the six drafts that Seonghwa wrote, the one he sent, and the one he received from Hongjoong.Eight letters that tell the story of a boy looking for love, only to realize it’s closer (and farther away) than he thought it would be.
Relationships: Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Series: Seongjoong Week 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1746814
Comments: 4
Kudos: 39
Collections: Seongjoong Week 2020





	8 Letters

**Author's Note:**

> hehe i was really inspired by "8 letters" by why don't we! while the song talks about letters as in the letters that make up a word, instead there are literal paper letters in this fic :D 
> 
> the entire 8 letters album by why don't we is amazing, definitely recommend listening to it!! 
> 
> a big thank you to [yudofu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yudofu/pseuds/yudofu) for betaing this! <3
> 
> this is essentially a 5 cm per second au but shh,, i haven't finished watching the movie so please no spoilers ;__;

UNMAILED

_ Dear Hongjoong,  _

_ It’s been a long time since I last sent a letter to you, hm? I’m sorry about that. I’ve been caught up with schoolwork and whatnot recently.  _

_ How have you been? I hope you’ve been doing fine. I happened to listen to a few of your song recommendations on the radio. I particularly liked Purple Rain and Space Oddity. Both of those songs give me the nostalgic feeling of being far, far away from home. You have really good taste in music is all I can say. Haha! _

_ Speaking of being far away from home, I’ve been wanting to tell you something… I think it’d be better for me to come in person to tell you this. Perhaps I can get my parents’ permission to ride the train to Seoul? It’d be a day’s ride away, but nevertheless, it’d be worth it to see you.  _

_ Seonghwa.  _

✉

_ Dear Hongjoong,  _

_ I haven’t mailed you in a while, and I apologize for that. I’ve been drafting letters and throwing them away because I really don’t know what to say. I’ve also been busy studying for high school graduation exams, so the time I have to write letters has also decreased by a lot.  _

_ How’ve you been? I’m stuck at home a lot because of the snow. Seoul is far north, so I must imagine that it’s snowing heavily there too, right? Although, knowing you, you probably wouldn’t be annoyed by the snow and would even take it as inspiration for something you’re creating!  _

_ Even though I dislike winter, I’m actively looking forward to the sakura blossoms this year. The worse the weather is during winter, the more sakura blossoms there are during spring. Or am I just observing the wrong things? Who knows.  _

_ It’s been years since I last saw the cherry blossoms with you. Could we see them together one last time before we graduate?  _

_ Seonghwa.  _

✉

_ Dear Hongjoong, _

_ Spring is approaching and I’m starting to see the sakura trees around my neighborhood blossom. Do you still remember when I told you how fast the sakura’s petals fall?  _

_ 5 centimeters per second. It seems oddly slow, but it’s actually quite fast, for flower petals at least. If only the world moved so slowly as well, then maybe I could marvel at things that happened at a slower pace and take in what I’m seeing.  _

_ Are there any sakura trees in Seoul? It’d be lovely if we’d be able to see the sakura trees bloom at the same time.  _

_ This might seem abrupt, but I do want to see you sometime soon. Maybe one weekend I’ll be able to visit you via train. And then, if there are sakura trees in Seoul, we could see them blossom together, in person?  _

_ Perhaps I’m asking for too much. But I hope you’ll allow me to be selfish this one time.  _

_ Seonghwa.  _

✉

_ Dear Hongjoong,  _

_ How have you been? The other day I saw some students arguing over whether or not to join a school club and it reminded me of our middle school years when I first met you.  _

_ You were the first person I’d met that didn’t give a care in the world about other people’s opinions. Other people cried for hours on end when red paint was splattered on their desks in the form of slurs. You didn’t even bat an eye at yours. The bullies’ expressions upon seeing your reaction were priceless.  _

_ I was so amazed by your no-nonsense attitude back then, and I still am. I hope that’s a part of you that you keep with yourself forever because it makes you special. Invincible. Possibly the bravest person I know.  _

_ Do you still remember that? Do you still remember me? The first friend you made in Gyeongnam?  _

_ Perhaps it’s just me, but sometimes it feels like I’m the only one who remembers and that I’m forgettable to others. Just a slip from their mind and people could forget entirely about me. It’s that easy.  _

_ Even though we’re so far away from each other, I hope you still remember me. Because I remember you, too.  _

_ Seonghwa.  _

✉

_ Dear Hongjoong,  _

_ Hello! I’m currently writing this while staring out at the dark night sky. It’s not snowing tonight and the sky’s clear with no clouds. I guess I’m lucky that the one time I mention the sky in my letter it happens to be clear, huh?  _

_ How about you? How’s the sky or weather where you are right now, as you read this sentence?  _

_ I’m supposed to be asleep already since it’s almost midnight. But the stars were so beautiful tonight I couldn’t resist crawling out of bed to write down what I was thinking. Hopefully, you won’t find my thoughts mundane!  _

_ Perhaps it’s another stroke of luck that a shooting star just passed by in the sky. Do you think that if I wished on it, my wish would come true?  _

_ If so, my wish would be to see the sakura blossoms with you one more time, in the spring. I really hope the shooting star hears my wish.  _

_ Seonghwa.  _

✉

_ Dear Hongjoong,  _

_ How have you been? The snow’s been starting to thaw lately. I guess I’ll miss seeing the blanket of white over the roads I cross to go to school. It’s also getting slightly warmer, which (hopefully) means I don’t have to wear mittens when I’m walking to school anymore!  _

_ How are your studies going? I hope you’re doing well studying music in Seoul. That’s another thing I admire about you — you’re not afraid to fight for what you’re passionate about. You liked making music and knew that you wanted to make a career out of it, and set off to do it. I wish sometimes I had that amazing resolve of yours.  _

_ But I haven’t quite figured out what I want to do yet! For now, I’m just worrying about high school graduation exams. I’m not sure what I want to do after that. Maybe visit you if you’re not opposed to the idea?  _

_ I haven’t met you in person for a long, long time, and it’s kind of scaring me since I’m starting to forget your voice. Would it be alright if I visited you one weekend?  _

_ Oh my God, I never knew how nerve-wracking it was to ask to meet up with someone until now. I respect those who can plan meetings.  _

_ But even so, will you take me up on that offer? To visit you?  _

_ This is kind of hard for me to say… but I do miss you.  _

_ Seonghwa.  _

✉

MAILED - 4 MARCH 1994

_ Dear Hongjoong,  _

_ I actually got permission from my parents to dye my hair! My mother went into the city to buy some dye and now my hair’s blonde! It’s a total new look on me and I’m kind of anxious to go to school because of it, but I think I’ll be fine.  _

_ Speaking of being anxious, there was something else I’d like to ask you, but I’ve been debating if I should do so. It’s been months since our last visit and years since we last saw the sakura trees bloom together. Since we’re graduating this year and we’ll most likely go our separate ways after, can I visit you on April 2? I’ll travel on the trains midday and in the night I’ll meet you and we can hopefully share one last memory together.  _

_ Would that be alright with you?  _

_ It’s kind of hard to put down on paper, but I miss you a lot and would love to meet you one more time before graduation if it’s possible.  _

_ Love, Seonghwa.  _

✉

RECEIVED - MARCH 30 1994 

_ Dear Seonghwa,  _

_ Hello! Sorry for the late reply! I’ve been swamped with homework and projects, so that delayed writing this letter for a while.  _

_ Wow, blonde hair! I’m sure that’ll look amazing on you. Any reason for dying it that color? Don’t tell me you impulsively thought of doing so at 3 A.M.? Haha!  _

_ And sure! Of course you can visit. I have no classes on that day, so I’ll be able to meet you at the train station on time. I’ve attached a separate piece of paper along with this one that has the train routes and times on there. If everything goes to plan, we’ll be able to meet by approximately 8:15 P.M.! I can’t wait to see you. I haven’t said this a lot, but I miss you too.  _

_ Looking forward to seeing the cherry blossoms together again!  _

_ Love, Hongjoong. _

✉

Seonghwa barely kept himself from bouncing out of his seat in excitement. He clutched the letters tightly in his hands, a barely contained grin highlighting his face. 

“Attention passengers, the doors will be closing. I repeat, attention passengers, the doors will be closing.”

The doors to the train compartment Seonghwa was in slid closed and the train slowly resumed to its original speed. Seonghwa stared out the window, watching his surroundings blurred into a haze of snow-covered hills, blue lakes, and occasional white buildings. Most of his view was obscured by the thick level of snow that had fallen the night before. 

After a few minutes of admiring the view, Seonghwa diverted his attention to the letters in his hands. His heart beated ecstatically. He couldn’t help but grin, his leg bouncing up and down in excitement. In an attempt to calm himself down before he met Hongjoong, he read over the letters one more time. 

That “one more time” turned into countless times of rereading the letters. There was nothing better Seonghwa could do to pass the time, as the sky slowly dimmed and masked his surroundings. 

His first stroke of worry came when he entered the third train. He sat in a corner, waiting for the train to start moving again when he heard the words that gave him a chill that traveled down his spine. 

“Due to weather conditions, the train will be delayed and will approximately resume moving in 15 minutes. We apologize for any inconvenience. Thank you for understanding.” 

Seonghwa bit his bottom lip in worry. Would the train delay affect the time that he arrived at Hongjoong’s station? But this was only one delay, right? He reassured himself that it would be alright and resumed reading the letters. 

However, he didn’t know then that he would be hearing the same words over and over again throughout that day. When he got onto another train, he heard the delay notice. When the train stopped at the station, he heard it again. When he transferred trains,the same phrase reverberated around the station. 

Seonghwa stared at his watch, watching the minutes slowly tick by as he waited for the train to start moving. He couldn’t help sighing and sighing as he watched seconds turn into minutes, and minutes into hours. 

He was far by an hour past schedule. If there weren’t any more delays, he would arrive at approximately 9:30 P.M. Would Hongjoong stay there for him? Should he stay there? Was it safe for him? Such thoughts lurked in his mind, tossing and turning in a torrent of worries. 

When the train started moving again, he felt as if a heavy weight was lifted from his shoulders. However, his worst fear quickly came true. In the middle of nowhere, in a landscape covered in snow, the train slowly came to a halt. 

Eyes widening in shock, Seonghwa could feel his heart ricocheting in his chest. His palms started to sweat. What was going on? Why were they suddenly stopping? 

“Due to weather conditions, the train will be delayed and the resuming of movement is unknown. We apologize for any inconvenience. Thank you for understanding.” 

His heart stopped entirely. He could barely breathe, refusing to take in the situation. The train wasn’t going to resume movement? They were stopping in the middle of nowhere? 

Every second that passed felt like an agonizing lifetime. He didn’t know how long he sat there, staring at his reflection pooling in the glass windows. He looked at the letters, stifling the urge to cry. 

After what seemed like an eternity, the wheels of the train turned, a low metallic screeching sound against the railways when the vehicle rumbled to life once more. A static voice over the microphone system declared, “The train will resume movement. We apologize for the delay.” 

Even as the train moved at its original speed, that didn’t stop Seonghwa from worrying. Instead, it stoked the fires that his fears fed on. 

What if this happened on the other trains? Would he even arrive at Hongjoong’s station at all tonight? Was Hongjoong there, waiting for him? Was Hongjoong sick of him? Did he think Seonghwa had forgotten to come or ditched the entire plan? Doubt pooled in his stomach, consuming his every thought. 

When the train finally arrived at the last stop, Seonghwa rushed out of the compartment right as the doors opened. Would Hongjoong still be there, waiting for him? He looked left and right for any sign that would lead him to a more populated place. His breath billowed in front of him in white puffs, and he ran towards a sign that said “Ticket Booth.” 

Near the ticket booth was a waiting area. Seonghwa came into the room running, cheeks red from the freezing cold outside. He stopped at the doorway, panting to catch his breath before looking upon the only person in the waiting room. 

Even though it had been so long since Seonghwa last saw Hongjoong, he still saw the same familiar face, with slight changes. His cheekbones were more highlighted, the edges of his eyes more prominent. However, what shocked Seonghwa was his hair color. Instead of the soft brown hair he had grown accustomed to in the few years of being his friend, Hongjoong had bright red hair that fell around his head in tufts. 

The younger was asleep, his body lolled as his head tilted in his sleep. He looked extremely young, with no visible worries or thoughts weighing down. 

“You should probably take your friend home,” came a gruff voice. Seonghwa turned his head to see the ticket master staring at him. “He’s been waiting for a long time.” 

Seonghwa tried to fight the flush that was rising up his neck as he replied, “I will, thank you.” He nodded before turning to Hongjoong. Seonghwa gently ruffled Hongjoong’s hair. 

“Hongjoong,” Seonghwa whispered. 

Hongjoong made an incoherent sleepy noise, his eyes still closed. 

“Hongjoong,” Seonghwa whispered again, a little bit louder this time. 

The redhead yawned, slowly stretching out his arms above him before sighing and opening his eyes. “Hm…” It took his eyes a few seconds to focus on Seonghwa before they grew wide. 

“Seonghwa?” 

Seonghwa smiled, his eyes forming tiny crescents. “Who else would it be?” 

“I can’t believe I just fell asleep,” Hongjoong sighed, donning a small grin. “But hello! You’re finally here!” 

He threw himself forwards for Seonghwa to catch in his arms. It took Seonghwa by surprise, but he quickly reached around Hongjoong to wrap him in his embrace. He could smell the faint scent of pine trees — and was it paint? — on Hongjoong. The latter felt solid against Seonghwa’s arms, Hongjoong’s body small but radiating warmth through the many layers of clothing he wore. 

After a few seconds, Hongjoong pulled back, and the two separated. “For a second, I thought you wouldn’t come,” he admitted, plopping down in his seat. 

Seonghwa sat down next to him with a chuckle. “Of course I’d come, I was the one who proposed the idea. Plus, it’s really been a long time since we last met.” 

The smile on Hongjoong’s face grew as he fumbled through his bag before taking out a small bento box with utensils and placing it in front of Seonghwa. 

“Here!” Hongjoong held it out for Seonghwa to take, with shaky hands. “I don’t think you’ve eaten dinner yet, so I cooked this for you.” 

Even if it was just a bento box, Seonghwa looked upon it with wonder. “You… You cooked this for me?” 

Hongjoong nodded, a grin spreading from ear to ear. “Ah, but I’m not really good at cooking, so I hope you’ll still like it!” He took out his own bento box and started eating. 

They sat in silence as they ate. However, the silence wasn’t uncomfortable. It felt calming to just sit there, eating delicious food in each other’s presence. Seonghwa was sure that the sudden warmth he was feeling didn’t come from being inside the room, but rather the presence of the boy sitting next to him. 

When he finished eating, he closed the bento box and handed it back to Hongjoong. After Hongjoong finished packing, they walked out of the ticket room together with a wave to the ticket master. 

“Do you know what time it is?” Hongjoong asked. 

In the midst of the cold, Seonghwa lifted his wrist to peer at his watch. “Wow, it’s already 11 o’clock.” 

As they walked down the stairs and out of the station, Hongjoong turned to Seonghwa. “So, how’s life in Gyeongnam? Did the sakura trees bloom yet? Do you miss me more than normal?” He joked, but the fond smile he donned said otherwise. 

“Hm,” Seonghwa paused for a second in thought, before continuing to walk. “The trees haven’t bloomed yet, unfortunately. And yes, I do miss you. Every spring when I see the sakura blossoms again, I’m always reminded of you.” 

Hongjoong was silent for a few seconds, leading Seonghwa to think he had said something wrong. But Hongjoong quickly turned to Seonghwa with a grin on his face that dissipated his fears. 

“You miss me that much, huh?” he jabbed. 

“Hey!” Seonghwa elbowed him, sending Hongjoong wobbling in the other direction. When their eyes met, laughter spilled from their throats, both bent over laughing. 

“Didn’t think you’d be so needy after all these years,” Hongjoong managed to say between wheezes. He latched onto Seonghwa’s arm after he stood upwards, moving slightly closer to Seonghwa. Even though he tried not to show it on his face, Seonghwa’s heart was close to bursting. At least, he hoped, that the fond smile on his face didn’t give him away. 

The two chatted all the way to Hongjoong’s house, only stopping briefly at a huge tree on the side of the road. They gazed up at the tree, its silhouette dark against the bright moon in the sky. 

“I think that’s the only cherry blossom tree for miles,” Hongjoong mused. “I saw a few flowers budding on this tree the other day, so it’ll definitely look extremely beautiful when it’s in full bloom.” 

“Yeah, it’ll be really beautiful,” Seonghwa replied, smiling as he turned to Hongjoong. After the other noticed him staring, a visible pink blush rose on Hongjoong’s cheeks. 

Hongjoong swatted at him, burying his face in Seonghwa’s shoulder. “Is there something on my face?” he whimpered. 

“No, there’s nothing.” 

The two took a break from walking to Hongjoong’s house. They stood in front of the cherry tree, Hongjoong animatedly chattering as Seonghwa stared at him, mesmerized. 

The moonlight highlighted Hongjoong’s features. His eyes shimmered, reflecting the stars in them. He seemed to glow, his red hair a ghostly pink in the light. 

Without thinking, Seonghwa bent down slightly to kiss Hongjoong. The contact elicited a small yelp of surprise from Hongjoong but it quickly faded. Hongjoong came closer, reaching his arms around Seonghwa’s neck to deepen the kiss. At the rush of endorphins, Seonghwa made a guttural noise at the back of his throat. 

When Seonghwa’s brain caught on, he quickly withdrew, his face burning. Hongjoong’s mouth was slightly open, a flushed look on his face as well, his arms retracting from Soenghwa’s neck. 

“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to— I’m sorry, please—” Seonghwa hid behind his hands, a pained smile making its way onto his face. “I wasn’t thinking—” 

Hongjoong’s hands found their way onto Seonghwa’s, gently prying them down, forcing him to meet Hongjoong’s eyes. Unlike the look of horror Seonghwa had imagined on Hongjoong’s face, Hongjoong’s lips were quirked upward, drawing a beautiful smile across his features.. 

“It’s alright, I don’t mind.” 

“I’m sorry, I— Wait, what?” Seonghwa doubled back quickly, staring at the other inquisitively. His eyebrows furrowed in realization. “Do you mean—” 

“Yes, I mean to say that I like you too.” 

Hongjoong leaned in to meet Seonghwa’s lips again. This time they stayed like that, bodies pressed against each other, warm in spite of the freezing wind, in the shade of the cherry tree. 

Seonghwa wished he could stay like that forever, a giddy grin on his face as he laughed at the embarrassed look on Hongjoong’s face, leaning in closer to kiss him again. He wished he could stay like that forever, hands linked as they walked to Hongjoong’s house, Hongjoong a warm presence by his side. 

✉

The next morning, Hongjoong and Seonghwa walked to the station early. Arm in arm, they stood as the train in the distance became closer and finally came to a full stop in the station. 

“Seonghwa…” Hongjoong breathed, a foreign emotion in his eyes as he glanced at him. His face was frozen, worry and sorrow masking the desperation underneath. 

Seonghwa couldn’t help the tug on his lips that made them curl upward. He ruffled Hongjoong’s hair with his free hand. “I’ll write letters to you soon. We might be separated, but I’ll still be able to talk to you.” 

Hongjoong grinned back, the edges of his lips turned up slightly, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. He placed his head on Seonghwa’s shoulder, shuffling closer towards him. 

“Don’t want you to go.” His voice was muffled by Seonghwa’s coat, his hands clutching desperately on his coat. 

Seonghwa chuckled, placing his hands on Hongjoong’s shoulders to distance them a bit so he could meet the other’s eyes. “I have to go now, or the train will leave. I’ll write to you!” 

He waved at Hongjoong as he entered the train, the doors closing after him. Hongjoong waved back at him as the train started moving. 

Seonghwa’s eyes didn’t leave Hongjoong’s figure the entire time as the train slowly moved out of the station. He watched the redhead become a speck in the distance until the station was out of his line of sight. 

It was then that he sighed, rustling through his bag for and taking out the letters he’d brought along with him. Glancing at the papers in his hands, his vision started to blur as words melted into one unrecognizable black haze, hot tears trailing from his eyes. 

**Author's Note:**

> i'd love any comments or critiques :]


End file.
